Month: December 2004

I’ve been thinking more — and talking with friends about — my East vs. West entry from the other day. And it occurred to me that, whenever I deal with metaphysical puzzles such as this, it’s nearly always useful to consider how Alfred North Whitehead would have approached it.

Whitehead was an advocate for process philosophy — indeed, he is responsible for the revival of this idea in the 20th century. Though I’ve always thought there were better terms for it; Whitehead himself used the term “philosophy of organism,” which I’ve occasionally abbreviated to “organic philosophy.”

The basic idea here is that process, as opposed to substance, is the primary building block of existence. Put another way, existence is a verb and not a noun. Whitehead’s masterpiece, Process and Reality, is one of the densest books ever written (and right up there with Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason and Heidegger’s Being and Time as the most difficult books I’ve ever read). Whitehead was a mathematician, so his theories are complex and as complete as he could make them. His goal with this book was to generate a “categoreal scheme,” or what I might call a metaphysical map, “in terms of which every aspect of our experience can be explained.” A pretty noble — and perhaps impossible — goal, though I will say that Whitehead comes closer than anyone else I’ve seen. And the reason he comes so close is because he thinks in terms of process. This opens up an entirely new way of thinking metaphysically, which allows for everything from common experience, psychology, magick, quantum physics, relativity, and everything else I’ve tried to throw at it.

So to bring this system to bear on the problem I articulated in the previous entry, I think that Whitehead would say that we can only be aware of the moment; but each moment is pregnant with context (past) and possibility (future). So by fully focusing our awareness on the richness of every moment, we are by definition also focusing our attention on where we have been and on what we are trying to create.

Another way to say this is that the clear-cut distinction I’ve been drawing between past, present, and future is not so cut and dry. After all, without a past to provide context, there can be no present moment. And without a future towards which the present is aimed, there is no meaningful present either.

I think the Buddhist emphasis on the present is really an emphasis on experience; our consciousness can only directly experience the present moment. Past and Future can only be experienced abstractly, through memory or imagination. So when a Buddhist urges us to Be Mindful of the Present, I think she is really saying to Be Mindful of our Experience. And some of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had were suffused with energy, as I was fully mindful of the present moment, but also acutely aware of the reality I was cultivating for myself. This is, at its core, nothing less than magick.

Slashdot pointed me to a very interesting article, Life Interrupted. The basic idea of the article:

We’re shooting through technological rapids that have opened doors and changed the dynamic of work, how we communicate and live, and sometimes even think. All these tools have made our lives easier in many ways. But they’re also stirring deep unease. Some are concerned that the need for speed is shrinking our attention spans, prompting our search for answers to take the mile-wide-but-inch-deep route and settling us into a rhythm of constant interruption in which deadlines are relentless and tasks are never quite finished.

Scientists call this phenomenon “cognitive overload,” and say it encompasses the modern-day angst of stress, multitasking, distraction and data flurries.

Makes sense to me. As our minds become more fragmented, the need for activities such as meditation, which are technologies to quieten the mind, become more important. It seems to me that at least some time daily must be spent calming the mind, creating a sort of tabula rasa that can then be written upon by our daily activities.

It certainly makes me want to spend more time in quiet meditation….

About 2 weeks ago, Matt and I wrote a song. As is usual with us, I wrote the music/chord progressions/parts, Matt wrote the lyrics and the vocal melody, and we collaborated on the arrangement. This is our usual mode of writing; I come up with some sort of groove/chord progression, and we jam on it while Matt improvises lyrics. Hopefully I’ll have a part A, part B, and a part C, ie, several different progressions that together, once arranged, will make up a song.

One of the songs we wrote 2 weeks ago is called “Trouble on the Island.” The island metaphor was particularly striking to me, since Marillion’s song Fantastic Place uses the island as a metaphor for intimacy, escape, and relationships.

But one of the lines in our song has to do with an incoming tidal wave (I can’t remember the exact line). Which of course, given recent news from Asia seems a bit jarring, to say the least. I’ve certainly felt the human repercussions of this gigantic sneeze from Mother Nature. A great disturbance in the force, perhaps?

Perhaps with Matthew’s help I can post some lyrics here soon, or better yet on Freakwitch.net.

I’ve observed over the years one thus far unresolvable tension between two of my most fundamental life principles. On one hand, I have a deep appreciation for the Eastern/Buddhist notion of non-attachment, of staying in the moment to savor a deep appreciation for the full flowering of every moment. This is an essential component of happiness; staying in the moment cultivates a sense of appreciation for what one actually has, not a sense of loss or lack for what one does not have.

On the other hand, I am also a believer in the Western/Neopagan notion of magick; of creation of one’s reality. Any sort of responsible, grounded magickal work of this sort requires a deep sense not only of where one is, but also of where one wants to go. So by looking forward in order to make an informed choice about which possible reality one wants to cultivate, one must by definition not focus one’s attention on the present moment.

So how do you resolve them? How do you look forward and make responsible choices, while at the same time cultivating awareness of the present? Once possible answer is that looking ahead requires a firm sense of where one is, a sense that is served by Buddhist present awareness. So we’re back to the classic sense of moderation; one shouldn’t spend too much time in either place, but must, in the words of Nietzsche, “lie in ambush, observing oneself from behind”; while one is in one state, one must be prepared to leap into the other. Opportunities will present themselves; one must have courage to make the most of these opportunities.

And there are signs that one is spending too much time in either place. If one is unhappy, and spends energy lamenting what one does not have, then it is a sure sign that too much focus is on the future. On the other hand, if one remains passive and fails to move anywhere, fails to create realities, then one may need to spend more time cultivating one’s reality.

Lastly, one must keep these two modes in perspective in terms of time. The present is the here and now, it is what we have; all of our past experience culminates in the facticity of the present moment. The past and the future are both shadowy; they don’t exist in terms of consciousness except in memory or imagination. There are futures that are more probable than others, but this just indicates the amount of work necessary to alter one’s present trajectory. So in that sense it is impossible to do good magick without a deep awareness of what one actually has; indeed this awareness is necessary because we must have something solid, something definite against which to imagine alternatives. You have to know where you are in order to know where you are going.

But overall, I think the lesson here is that while it can be healthy to imagine “what ifs,” in order for them to be healthy they must be grounded in the here and now. Part if this means that if your “what ifs” involve other people (as they nearly always do), one must take into account the choices of these other people. Hopefully, we are in a position when we do our magickal work, that we can do them together with those around us. But then, such alignment of one will amongst many is itself a tremendous amount of work.

I’m thinking of converting this site over to a new software infrastructure called WordPress. The advantages would be non-reliance on an outside website (everything would be hosted locally on Freakwitch.net). Also, WordPress is Free Software, which is A Good Thing.

Though the last thing I need is more technical stuff to do. It is possible, though nontrivial, to import my old blogger entries to WordPress, however.

Perhaps someday when I have nothing to do I can try this….

A friend of mine calls snow/sleet/freezing rain “sleeze,” and it seems to be appropriate to my reality at the moment. We had a winter storm come through last night, when I was working. We had calls in queue pretty much all day; it was by far the busiest day I’ve seen since I started working there almost a year ago. Driving home after my 12-hour shift was fun.

My holidays were good. We had another amazing Yule fire/circle/vigil. I made it all the way through, tending the bonfire from sunset until sunrise the next morning; my daughter even managed to stay awake until about 4am. What a trooper. Gifts were great this year. I got my daughter some games that we can play; I was tired of telling her “daddy’s not a game person” so I picked out some games that I actually do like, so we could play together. So far, the most-played game with us has been Stratego, LotR edition. Pretty cool. She also has expressed interest in role playing games; “yes, honey, daddy can help you with that.” Heh. I also picked up a Nietzsche anthology for a friend of mine, a fellow Fritzophile. Santa brought me a digital camera as well, which is quite cool. I’ve wanted one for quite some time, and this one is a nice one; simple for the non-professional, yet powerful and flexible. And it works great with Linux.

Since Yule, I’ve been focusing on the nature of my current spiritual work with a friend of mine. It’s difficult, personal work, and our focus is creating safe space between us that is grounded on all levels, so that we can relate to one another authentically. but it’s good work, and I think the rewards for all the work will be well worth it.

I also made the mistake of dipping my toe into long-stagnant waters this week. Gee, what do you know. It stank, and I got slime on my toe. I suppose it was too much to ask that the water would have cleared up on its own. Ah well, luckily toes are easily scrubbed with no ill-effects in the longterm. Live and learn. Again. *rolls eyes*

I’m also growing used to my laptop. The conveniences of it are wonderful. Very cool.

The Google Zeitgeist for 2004 is up. It’s an interesting cultural snapshot, as it outlines the most popular Internet searches for the year. Google has become a verb; if you need to learn about something, Google it. Etc.

Some of the results were surprising; of course the top 4 entries are robotic babes; britney spears, paris hilton, christina aguilera, pamela anderson.

In Tech Stuff, linux was #5, behind wallpaper at #1 and filesharing topics (kazaa and mp3). The top company query was interesting, as sco, the company suing that they actually own the Linux source code and that everyone running Linux is violating the law, was #1. It’s good to see that people are paying attention to this most important case.

On his webpage, Steve Hogarth of marillion refers to himself as a “pagan” in his latest message:

Well blimey here it is again!
No matter where you are in the world – whether you’re traveling, visiting or staying home, I’d like to wish you a happy and peaceful Christmas in your MIND (which is where it matters most). Try to be NICE to someone who doesn’t entirely deserve it (we can give more than presents) and, if you’re not totally broke, choose a charity and send something to those less fortunate. Don’t be afraid to sing a carol. Don’t be afraid of anything. Drink LOADS, try not to get sick and be patient with those who do. Don’t eat too much, and I’ll try not to also. If you’re not a Christian, have Christmas anyway just for fun. If you’re a pagan (like me) dance naked and I hope you don’t get arrested. Here comes summer…
It’s a circular ride.
LOVE, PEACE, UNDERSTANDING
h

Now, “pagan” is basically Latin for “redneck,” and is furthermore arguably the most broadly-defined terms in history. Not sure exactly what he means, but it would fail to surprise me if he means “pagan” in the “modern neo-pagan religious practitioner” sense. I’ve suspected for a while now, actually, based on his lyrics and comments in interviews, etc….

How can I trust Firefox? is an article/blog entry by a microsoft employee. According to Slashdot, the article raises “some interesting security related points.”

But I didn’t read the article that way. To me, this article cannot imagine a reality outside of its centralized system of control. There are ways around his concerns that do not involve giving control of one’s machine to microsoft or anyone else. Open Source software is open, and you can examine it as deeply as you want, right down to examining every single line of code if you are so inclined. If you’re that concerned, download the source code from two different places, double check them against each other (using, say, the diff command in Linux), compile it, and run it.

But even if you aren’t so motivated, let’s think about this pragmatically. How many people are having security problems with Firefox? Raise your hand? Hello?

And I know countless people out there are using Firefox. Even some of my friends are starting to switch. Firefox is the first Free software application to be attractive to several of my friends, which is saying something. You, my dear readers, have been listening to me (and probably others) pontificate about free software for years. I have not yet been able to turn a single person I know onto Linux. Or OpenOffice. But I know several people using Firefox, which is significant.

This is, at bottom, nothing more than FUD. There is no pragmatic need for such draconian security measures. It’s not about control. It’s about openness.

Alright, I’m sure my readers are growing weary of my geekish technical ruminations here. Too bad for you. ;-) I got ftp between my 2 machines working last night using ssh. This means that, from the laptop, I can transfer files to and from the desktop machine, all wirelessly, from whereever I happen to be. Very cool.

There are 2 things I need to work on now; the first is security to ensure that my network is reasonably safe, and the second is transfer speed. I was getting about 600kB/s in file transfers, which is about twice the typical rate I get out of my cable modem. I was expecting it to be much faster. I still don’t know much about this networking stuff; there are doubtlessly many parameters to tweak that will improve performance.

But hey; at least it’s working.

At this point there are really only 2 things left to get working optimally on my laptop. The first is getting ACPI working with the fnfx package, which will allow things like suspend to work, and make things like the volume controls etc work properly. This package will require me to recompile my Linux kernel, which I’ve done before and has its benefits; I can slim it down and get rid of things that I won’t need. The problem with it is that it’s more work, and it introduces another layer of complexity that doesn’t need to be there. I’m tempted to just leave it be and live without the ACPI features. We’ll see.

The second thing is to get the Synaptics touchpad driver. At the moment, the touchpad in my system works as a standard mouse-ish driver, but this driver would allow some advanced features of the touchpad to work.

I’ve also been updating my Linux on Toshiba page to reflect this stuff; before too much longer I should have a more concise version of that page.