OK, in advance, know that this post is going to be somewhat maudlin, and will contain lots of me processing recent events. Here in this quasi-public forum. But this blog is intended to be a representation of what’s on my mind, so it’s valid.
I remember when I was a philosophy student studying the notion of “tragedy.” One of my favorite definitions of “tragedy” comes from Kathleen Higgins, a Nietzsche scholar/philosopher at the University of Texas. Her conception of tragedy is something close to this: the tragic is something sad that happens that cannot be explained away rationally.
From that perspective, it seems to me that recent events in my life are tragic. I don’t mean to be melodramatic when I say this. I’m just trying — still — to process them and move through them the best I can. Everyone involved in the situation found themselves in a place where our rational minds were throwing up red flags right and left. And yet, all of us still were compelled to move forward. Had any one of us paid attention to the rational, we would have thrown a flag and put a stop to it. Yet, none of us did. Rationality was ignored. Therefore, the situation was tragic.
My task now is to reclaim my health, mind, body and spirit. I’ve been sick for most of the past two weeks, two different illnesses moving through me. This is no coincidence. My energy system is out of whack utterly. My body feels bad, I haven’t been exercising, I could be eating better.
The Hammer speaks: “all creators are hard. And it must seem blessedness to you to impress your hand on millennia as on wax.” Hardness, for me, is resoluteness; one must become hard, or use hardness as a tool, to create. Said the Schmidt. Now I must find a Linden tree so I can set up shop…